Dishonesty in Advertising by Debbie Mascot
Kleenex (or "facial tissue," since I buy generic) is a rip-off. The first 10 sheets come out all shredded and are useless. But because I use so much of it and hate running out, I started folding those first few shreds together meticulously to gain enough material to be useful.
I think that they should be honest on the box. "250 sheets of the softest, puffiest facial tissue! Note: only 240 are useable." Then the competition can come out with "Stronger, softer tissue in glamorous box of 250! Note: OUR brand has 241 useable sheets."
While they are at it, they should disclose that the last 10 sheets come out all at once, forcing you to shove 9 of them back in the box in a manner that makes it heretofore impossible to grab one at a time. In moments of sheer frustration, I've tried refolding them perfectly and placing them back in, but it just doesn't work.
"250 sheets of the softest, puffiest facial tissue! Note: only 240 are useable and the last 10 are just a big mess." Then the competition can come out with "Stronger, softer tissue in glamorous box of 250! Note: OUR brand has 241 useable sheets. There still is that Last-10 problem, but, hey, what can you do?"
In other irritating news, evidently, Mrs. Bulky Mascara and Mr. Missing Penis were on Sally Jessie Raphael together. Tammy Faye Bakker had the nerve to say to John Wayne Bobbit, "Didn't it hurt??? I mean, a butcher knife!!! I've imagined putting Super Glue in it, but a KNIFE???"
Why is this irritating?
A) "Didn't it hurt?" Let's see, Tammy Faye. If I take a butcher knife
to your left breast, how do YOU think it would feel? Good? I thought not…
B) Super Glue? Why would you: 1- imagine Super Glue, and 2- admit to imagining
Super Glue?
The brilliance astounds me.
I don't feel well today. Can you tell? I've been up since 2:30am because I could no long lie down AND breathe. So I got up and did the dishes and then sat on the sofa and watched the Odd Couple.
Felix was challenged to a boxing match with some big hockey player. I fell asleep sitting up during the last 2 minutes of the show. Anyone know if he ended up fighting or not?
I switched channels for awhile and found some forensic shows that were cool. Then Charlie's Angels was on. Kris had on the grossest outfit I've ever seen. Long shorts with knee socks. Top it off with a stupid shirt and a plot full of holes and you have one super mad and tired Debbie. Supposedly, this golfer was a childhood friend of hers. Fine. But then how is it that this golfer's manager was her BEST childhood friend and yet he and Kris didn't know eachother? And the bad guy was investigated by Charlie in the beginning and found to be okay. But then at the end, he ended up with a pseudonym and being the bad guy. Who the heck are Charlie's sources? If I were one of his "Angels," I'd give him hell. Idiot.
Have I already mentioned that I get grumpy when I don't feel well?