Lines in Neon by Debbie Mascot
You know how I'm always getting jilted out of stuff? AOL, the bills, etc? Well, I figured this would be no different.
Last Sunday, I got up and peed in a cup. The test we bought was $20 and you had the end-result possibility of one line or two. I figured that it was me. There would be one and a half lines. Or one line and a blur. Something that made it nebulous so that I'd go out and buy more tests.
In case you haven't done this before, you are supposed to "hold the stick in your urine stream." Right. The footnote says you can just pee in a cup and dip. Good thing, because I'm not real fond of tracking my urine stream with only a small stick between my hand and said stream.
After you do the dipping thing, you set a timer for three minutes and wait. The longest three minutes of your life. Unless you are me.
I dipped the stick (gross). Put the little plastic cover thing on (also gross), grabbed the timer, hit the minute button three times, hit Start and looked at the stick.
It was already done calculating. Two lines like neon lighting up the bathroom. Our baby doesn't only exist; he/she SUPER exists.
Sometimes I'd imagined this result. I figured that we'd be horrified and say a lot of swear words and cry and moan and grown and eventually get used to it and by the time the head came out, we'd kinda like it. Well, we did say swear words, but for some reason, we had dopey grins on our faces while we were saying them. Actually, that was more surprising than the surprise.
Gotta go. Need to read up on what the heck happens next.