Road Rage by Debbie Mascot
When you are two-years-old, you have a right to believe you are the center of the universe. And it really is hard to tell how old someone is just by looking at them; however, I do believe that if you are old enough to be out driving in the commuter traffic, you have gone beyond the point where it is acceptable for you to believe the world revolves around you.
I know exactly where road rage comes from. Road rage comes from driving 12 miles home from work at 5pm and getting home at 6:42pm. Well, for me, not JUST from that. That causes irritation and frustration. But the rage comes when you are merging onto the freeway, going maybe 2 mph tops, and the Monster Woman in the second lane over decides the far right lane is traveling faster and she zips over into the little cozy spot that the nice man has left for you. She doesn't use her blinkers and she doesn't look to see if maybe someone is already coming into that lane from the far, far right. Someone who IS using blinkers and who needs to get onto the freeway before the road runs out, I might add. So this someone had to lay on the horn (which makes her feel rude) and call her nasty names outloud even though unborn Siga could hear.
So Siga learned some choice words yesterday. Already an education…
Finally, I was able to get onto the freeway and work myself in to my comfort lane. Not the "fast" lane, but the one right next to it. I just stay there until it's time to start moseying on over to the right for my exit. I traveled a mile or so (after 26 minutes) and guess who's back??? Yep, that's right. The Child Educator. She has her blinker on in STOPPED traffic to get over into my lane. Rather than wait until it moves and then gently coming into the open spot that anyone would leave, even me, she eases her car along side the car in front of me and the one that WAS in front of her. There are literally 3 cars sharing 2 lanes. I think lots of unborn babies learned new words.
Her blinker remained on.When the traffic moved, I watched eagerly to see what would happen. The car in front of me sped up, the car that WAS in front of her stayed stopped and she moved over into the spot in front of me.
And then didn't go.
There were about 4 car-lengths and increasing in front of her and she just sat there. I got irritated and made the Hands and the Expression and she went. Slowly. The whole time she was in front of me, she left at the very least 3 car-lengths in front of her and other cars were cutting over in front of her, slowing me down. So I got back over into the next lane and lost her in the crowd after about 15 minutes.
But now I had Mrs. Foo-Foo Red Mini-van in front of me. She had big blonde hair, 2.2 children in car-seats in the back and was weaving out of control whilest passing out cookies and milk. And answering her phone.
Road rage. It's all the rage in the Debbie mobile at 5pm weekdays.