A Little Bit about Today

 
Title: Communicating with a 20-month-old Girl Who Knows She is the Center of the Universe

Communication really doesn't revolve around words yet. Signa isn't speaking much. Here are the words she can say (aka, the sounds she makes for the same object every single time):

Shrek- (but it sounds like, "rrrrrrr-ek")
Rock- (but it sounds like, "ek")
Freckle- (but it sounds like, "eckle")
Flamingo- (but it sounds like, "mingo")
Booby- (but it sounds like, "abby")
Kitty- (but she shortened it and mutated it into "kee")
Puppy- (it's the only word she SUPER-enunciates, "pup-pee")
Piggy back ride- (but it sounds like, "pah pah pah")
Bird- (but it sounds like, "b-ah" while pointing up)
Bug- (but it sounds like, "b-ah" while pointing down)
Uh-oh- (she says this just fine, mostly when things fall. But she liked that I got happy when she said it, so she now throws stuff and then says, "Uh-oh" with a grin. It's really not making me that happy any more, since she does it with all the sofa cushions)
Cloud- (but it sounds like, "cowed")
Airplane- (but it sounds like, "ah play")Bye Bye- (said perfectly but only to Baby Tad when he says it first)

All words are said while pointing and most are said with an exclamation point. Note the absence of Momma or Daddy. Flamingos and rocks are clearly more important.

She uses these words to get glee out of us. She points at the thing, says the word and then we say, "Yeah! Yes, that's a flamingo," while grinning like she just explained Einstein's theory of relativity to us. She doesn't use these words to communicate- she uses whining and hand-gestures for that. For instance, if she wants more, she holds up numbers on her hand. Sometimes 5 and sometimes 4. The 5 or 4 have no meaning. The meaning is that it's more than just one. And she whines for it .

When she's done with something (boobies, Teletubbies, Spidermen) she waves at them. Waving generally means, "goodbye". It can also mean hello, but only if someone says the word, "Hello". Otherwise, she doesn't care who has entered her view of the world. Unless it's boobies, Teletubbies or Spidermen-then she cares. And she whines for it.

We are trying to figure out how to get her to practice more and say more. We are having trouble with the question, "Can you say---" because of lions.

She found out lions (and tigers and bears and dinosaurs) growl. And that we think it's cute when she growls. So we were saying, "What does a dinosaur/tiger/bear/lions say?" and she'd growl and we'd laugh and clap. Now when we say, "Signa can you say---" (whatever), she growls because of the word, "say." Sigh.

Oh, and she sighs, too.

We are back from vacation! I'm sad we were all sick (and even got poor Grandma Molly sick!), but we still had a great time. On this vacation, even though it was hot, we didn't waste time staying in town like last time. Hot or not, we were there to see Grampa and Grandma Molly! So we rolled up the mountain at about 5:30 or 6 on Thursday afternoon and unpacked the rental SUV. Signa did really well on the drive- we stopped a lot to let her think it was just a lot of little trips! I think it worked.

We ate a delicious dinner of barbecued kabobs. I can still taste them, they were so good! Signa absolutely doted on Dinga (the dog) and tried a few times to grab kitties, but failed and was content with Dinga. Oh! Big Oregon news: They now have a propane refrigerator! It will be so fun for them to be able to freeze things and to NOT go outside to get everything they need!

On Friday, Grampa had the day off to be with us and so we went into town. Into townS, really! After a quick visit to see Grampa's worksite (and meet Bear the dog!- this is what Signa liked best), we went into Jacksonville for a wonderful lunch and then to Ashland to just sight-see. It was tough on Grampa, I know, to do all that walking, but he is the one that said he wanted ice cream in Ashland (which Signa loved). After that we went and picked up Gramma Molly from work and Signa pointed at the apple on her bookshelf and said, "Apple!" For the first time. We then went out to dinner at a new pizza place and then back up the mountain.

On Saturday, we went for a picnic at the river. While not the most perfect picnic spot in the world, the river was beautiful and Signa makes you see the fun things no matter where you are. She found butterflies and exclaimed over the other children. So it was a perfect picnic. After that, we spent a few hours at a wonderful park next to the river. Signa enjoyed playing with the children and just alone. We enjoyed sitting and talking and reading.

Sunday was Father's Day and Signa and I presented the Dads with their gifts (just shirts) and then we spent the day relaxing (and being sick). We went to dinner at the Mexican restaurant in Shady Cove and had a great time on the desk overlooking the river.

Monday it was sad to say goodbye, but we had a nice time and we'll be back very soon. I'm just so impressed with Signa doing so well in the car and with how she only irritated poor Dinga to growl-hood twice. Really, Dinga is Signa's most beloved person. Even today, one week since seeing her, I can say, Where is Dinga? and you can see her just remembering her friend. Since she was preoccupied with Dinga and her other friends, rocks and sticks, Signa wasn't really a "people-person" prefering dogs, cats,rocks and sticks, to us. But she did manage to get scared by Grampa and "No, Kicking" once. She is super sensitive- I hope she outgrows that. But they made up and she grinned at him more than a few times! I think he kinda liked her, too.

I can't wait to go back. We are thinking of making a long trip to Washington to see Great Grampa this year. We'll see…

Here are Some Silly Signa Snippets

Reading... She sits and reads her books for a long while. It's so funny, as she
reads them with the same inflections we do. Like her Peek a Who book. We
read, "Peek- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (with a long ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) then turn the
page and say, "MOO!" Signa reads, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" then turns the page and
says, "OOOOOO!" Another one that cracks me up is when she reads her elephant
book. She laughs all the way through (she think all elephants are hilarious)
and then gets to the Elephant's Friend the Tiger page and growls really loud.
Then turns the page and laughs. She also narrates How Do Dinosaurs Say
Goodnight with roars, sighs, hugs and kisses.

Speaking of hugs and kisses... When we say, "Can I have a hug?" if she feels
like a hug, she looks at us adoringly and then wraps her arms around herself
and hugs with a big happy satisfied grin. When we say, "Can I have a kiss?" if
she feels like a kiss, she bows her head into our lips so that we can kiss her
head.

Bumpin' the Head... Whenever she bumps her head, she stands up and then grins
and pats herself on the head. She also does this whenever she hears the word,
"Bump" or the word, "Head".

Shake it off... She fell down so much at Grampa's that we got tired of reassuring
her. So I taught her "Shake It Off." No whenever she hurts herself at all,
she wipes her hands together and smiles.

Laughing... When we are having adult conversations, either just us or with a
group, Signa will laugh a loud fake laugh whenever anyone else does. It seems
like her way of trying to fit in.

Playing... She loves to put things under other things and then say, "GONE!"
while making I-Don't-Know arms. Like putting her little people under a blanket
or putting a little big head dog under a pot.

Potty... No. Not even close, but (and this is really TMI, but whatever)
whenever I go and she is around, she waves Bye-Bye to the pee pee and then
says, "GONE!" while making I-Don't-Know arms.

Dancing... As soon as she hears ANY music, she stops whatever she is doing and
sways. One day, she was trying to ruin my newspaper and was stomping wildly
all over it before I could get to it. We called it the Newspaper Dance, but it
looked remarkably like River Dancing. So Marc does the jingle and she'll do it
now, but she still prefers to do it on paper or cardboard. In Oregon, it was
particularly fun, as they have a big broken-down refrigerator box and she used it
as her "stage" for a very long while.

I didn't realize that I wasn't updating here. So much has happened, but I don't think I'll go backwards. Or maybe I will, who knows? But for now, here is the latest Signa news...

We Netflic-ed* the Teletubbies to see what Signa would think and she is in love (again). She takes her bhds (Big Head Dogs) to the tv so that they can see, too. She even carts over her Spiderman chair sometimes to let it watch (she won't sit in it, as it's her "friend"). Anyway, the beginning of the Teletubbies (or "TTs" as we have to call it or we have to watch it AGAIN) begin with the screen changing colors and the TTs disappearing. Then a scary irritating voice says, "Where have the Teletubbies gone?" Signa makes I-Don't-Know arms violently and says, "GONE!!!!!" But she says it when the opening PBS thing starts.

So last night, Marc went to take the garbage out and she does I-Don't-Know arms and says, "GONE!!!!"

Who says tv is bad for you?!?!

*Netflix is a company that sends you three movies at a time and you can keep them as long as you want. We like it because we actually watch movies now that we don't have to return them in 24 Blockbuster Hours (which is actually more like 1 hour for a 2 hour movie, or so the late charges make it seem).

---

So rather than going backward through time and telling you every little thing Signa's done (the pictures really do make a thousand words), I'll just try to be better about posting things here. Next update: Monday with any luck!

-Debbie

I've been bad at remembering to post here! Here are some notes of cute Signa things:

Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Signa has a couple of new cute things. She hides her Fisher Price animals under a blanket and then we say, "Where is the giraffe (or whatever)?" She throws her arms up in the air in a dramatic "I don't know" pose. It's so darned cute. She also stacks her cups like a madwoman suddenly. She used to only knock them down and now she stacks them perfectly inside one another.

With every new thing she does, it reinforces my opinion of how she is and how she demonstrates her learning. She studies and studies and studies and doesn't try so much. Just studies until she knows how to do it. I half expect to hear her just say, "Mother, I would like to engage in some breastmilk this afternoon if you can fit it into your schedule." And "schedule" would be said like an English woman- "shedule".

She is such a different (and wonderful) little girl. Sometimes, though, I imagine having to send her to daycare where they put babies down for naps and don't hold them all day. The babies Signa's age are being moved to daycare rooms with cots. I can't imagine Signa sleeping in a cot. Heck. I can't imagine Signa sleeping. Period. She's last one day in daycare before they'd be pinning a refund check to her collar and sending her home with condolences for our future.

Friday, January 09, 2004
We were playing the Ramones' version of the Speed Racer theme and she started counting. We had to figure out why… "Powerful Mach FIVE."

Cracks me up every single day, that girl does.


Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Sunday Signa got her first haircut. Just the bangs. Marc did it. Her first moments in the tub are surprisingly still. She is getting used to the water, I guess. Anyway, we put her in and then poured a cup of water over her head and Marc trimmed up the bangs (they were kind of coming to a point on her nose). Now they are straight across and look cute when I do those stupid pigtails.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004
We are planning to homeschool Signa. It's a controversial thing and many don't think it's a good thing, but we've been talking about it and researching it and compiling data and resources for almost a year now. Our public schools suck, private schools aren't much better and are too expensive and, frankly, *WE* know Signa best. Public school just isn't for us.

I was going to write about how excited I was for homeschooling to start and then I realized that we are already doing it. Every day we are teaching Signa and everyday she is learning. She now counts on her fingers forward to five and backwards from five (although from "five, four, three, two one" Signa just whines until we say, "Thunderbirds are go," which is mighty funny if you get the joke).

I've already read a ton of homeschooling THEORY books, but now I'm moving on to practice. Will we buy a curriculum, make one ourselves, or just do without altogether? Not sure yet. I'm nearly positive we won't join a charter school, but we'll see. For now, I'm just soaking in all the options. I'm starting with the plan of creating a preschool curriculum and seeing how that goes for a year. We've been UNschooling for 16-months now and it's going well, so this may also be an option. Of course, maybe we suck at this- she did stop talking after "kitty" was yelled at the zoo, afterall. But this weekend she started again and now says, "Puppy," but really it sounds like "pup-PAY" and "Kitty," which sounds like "kit-TAY". Maybe I shouldn't say, "Would you like to have some booby?" and "Might I offer you a bit of booby today?" in the English accent any more…

And then she creeped us out. In collecting the activities for the preschool curriculum, I found one about acting out things that happen using the toys. I laughed, thinking, "Maybe SOMEday Signa will play like that, but now she just eats her toys." Then just two days later she re-enacted a part of Stuart Little that she loves. She had a tiny bear that she pretended was Stuart and then a giant stuffed tiger to be Monty the cat and a Big Head Dog as Snowbell. It was really far too smart to watch. Super creepy. She had the tiger rolling laughing and the bear in a box and the Big Head Dog sitting toward the back. And she even did the fake laugh. Creepy.

Luckily after doing this, she saw that Murray and Anthony Wiggle were sitting in *HER* Spiderman chair and promptly stood up and tossed them off on their ears, so we had our regular girl back fast enough.

Another reason for homeschooling… those poor other children…

And last night Signa scared the crap out of me. I couldn't breathe and so got up to sleep sitting up on the couch (stupid allergies). About 2 hours later, I feel someone petting my cheek. Yep. Signa quietly climbed out of bed and came down the dark hall to the dark living room to find me. Marc never even heard or felt her get out of bed.

She's never wandered the house on her own. What if she'd gone into the bathroom and fell? Or the kitchen or any numerous other danger zones we have??? When I am with her, we sleep all mangled up together. There is no way she could get out of bed. But when I'm not... well, evidently I have to always be there.

I wonder what she was thinking as she made her way to the living room? And how cute that she'd go to such lengths just for momma. I nursed her on the sofa all snuggled in the throw blankets and then we went to bed and I slept soundly the rest of the morning.

Such a cuddly night.


Thursday, January 29, 2004
Here is our nighttime routine. Sometime between 7:30 and 8pm I say, "Want to brush your teeth?" and Signa drops- no, THROWS- everything she has and grins at me. I pick her up, find a pacifier and take her in the bathroom. I set her on the sink (I'm holding her there with my hip) and grab her toothbrush. I put her toothpaste on it and then say, "Open wide!" and she does. I brush the top and then the bottom and then give the toothbrush to her (we are still working on her grabbing the handle-end...). I get my toothbrush all mushed up with toothpaste and then say, "Ready?" and she grins with toothpaste running down her face. I pick her up on my hip and we brush together while smiling in the mirror and watching each other. Then I say, "All done" (only it sounds like "AHHH DOOOO" because I have toothpaste in my mouth). I put her back on the sink and I finish me. Then I take her toothbrush and wipe her face and we go to the bedroom.

I pick 5 books and she throws 3 off the bed with irritation. Not the same 5 and not the same 3. Depends on her mood as to what she's willing to listen to. Last night, for instance, she only wanted "I Am A Kitten" and her Clifford book. So after I read her one, then she has to read that same one herself. Flipping pages, pointing at things, etc. And I have to read the words for that particular page while she does it. Even though I can't see them because she's Wild Book Woman.

Then I turn off the light and say, "Good night. I love you." Then the whining starts while I'm hurrying to bare my arms and boobies. I can't be under any covers and neither can she. And she HAS to be able to get to each booby and to each elbow. She nurses, back and forth between each booby after each suck, and caresses my elbows for about 3 minutes and then tries to sit up and play. She says, "GA!" which is irritation and then, "Dibble!" which is playful. I lay (lie?) her back down and we do it again only this time I yell for Marc to please turn on her music. It has songs that put her to sleep (I hate each and every one of those songs now). She is out within 5 minutes. Then I turn the hideous music off and turn the tv on and watch FoodTV until Emeril puts me to sleep


Friday, January 30, 2004
Signa held a meeting last night. She took her Anthony and Murray Wiggle dolls to the area next to the kitchen and put them in a pile (Note: although Signa didn't understand our laughter, Anthony and Murray looked very natural in that position). Marc asked, "If they are having a meeting, why aren't Greg and Wags included?"

So she went and got Wags and Greg and threw them in the pile. Then she grinned at us. We kept mentioning "people" and soon, she had all the Wiggles (sans Jeff, who we still haven't found) and all her Big Head Dogs and even the tiger and the laughing bear in the pile. She just kept marching over, grabbing who we mentioned coming to the meeting ("Isn't Dorothy invited to the meeting?"), and throwing them in the pile. Then grinning at us. It was the cutest thing. The very cutest thing.

Parental Needless Worrying

When I got pregnant, I joined an email list for women who were due the same month (October). We have been together since then and even though Signa (and a few others) were born in Sept. we have stayed together. They are among the greatest group of women I've never met.

But they have gifted babies and they don't even know it.

Today I learned that other babies are actually PLAYING with their toys. Signa eats hers. They are making the Fisher Price Little People horses gallop and they are feeding their baby dolls fake bottles and cereal with a spoon. Signa puts the horses in her mouth and runs around yelling into the bottom of it because it sounds weird. And she tries to eat the brains out of baby dolls. She has no idea what a spoon is and is just now learning how to use a plate, for crying out loud. She doesn't know how to make her sitting-on push cars go and she doesn't make her play cars drive around.

She does not play at all like you hear about kids playing.

Now, I know babies all develop differently and at different paces and all. And I know Signa was a month early. And I know I promised never to hold Signa up to the standards of others, but come on! All she does is drag her things around and eat them and throw everything into the kitchen to see if it spins like the pot lids do (note to self for possible next baby: do not show baby this trick). The only thing she does normally is read books and count. And she doesn't talk anymore either. Other babies are saying full on words on purpose. I think Signa says, Doggy and Kitty and Kaikida (70s Japanese tv show that we have on DVD and she loves- KaKaKa is the word), but I'm really not sure.

Sometimes I worry so much about parenting. I just sort of follow my instincts, but she doesn't sleep, doesn't play, has a giant temper, doesn't stop whining until she gets what she wants (or realizes she's truly not getting it), has NO patience whatsoever, and is generally not what I'd call a "good" baby. Not that I'd change a single thing about her, but really she's just not one of those compliant little smiling masses of cuteness that you read about- the babies people call, "Such a love." Signa has "a ton of personality". That's what is said about her. And I'm glad, but sometimes I just worry about doing it all wrong in following my instincts. Not that I'll change, but I can still worry.
But she still is cute and a wonder and I really, truly wouldn't change her. And she does count, so she's not stupid or anything.

Yep. She counts. She holds up her finger and then adds fingers. So she does a 1, then a 2 and then a 3 etc. She does this whenever she hears ANY number (up to about 20). In a song, on the radio, on television, in conversation. Like yesterday morning on the way to work, Marc and I were talking and she was just sitting there. Suddenly, she does the counting thing. I said, "Did you just say a number?" Nope. But Green Day did in their song playing in the background. So Signa was counting along with them.

And she loves punk rock music. She stands there and weaves back and forth and shakes her head wildly whenever she hears music she likes. That's my girl.

So, see? She still does cute smart things. She's okay.

(Right?)

*** I wrote that on December 30 but forgot to post it. I don't feel that way today. Today I am proud of my smart, strong girl and know she's fine. On Saturday I took her to the neighbors' to see if we could borrow their 19-month-old boy. She gladly gave him up with the warning that he had 3 older brothers so she hoped he didn't play too rough. I brought them to our house to play in the livingroom.

Um. Guess who chased him all over with hugs and kisses and tried to give him all of her toys and even taught him how to use a sippy cup (or tried to before I caught up with her)? I feel so bad that she doesn't have more friends her age, but Isaac was really only willing to stay for about a half an hour before he went and got his shoes and stood by the door. She is VERY overpowering and really WAY more expressive than he was. He would play with the toys, but never got very animated about anything. Unlike Signa. Very unlike Signa. Very, very unlike Signa. I am so glad that she has so much emotion over things. Even if sometimes it's REALLY bad, sometimes it's REALLY good and that makes up for everything.

Signa had her 15-month doctor's appointment today. And my ears are still ringing. Unfortunately the time of the appointment was right in the middle of naptime, so we had to wake her to take her in. Then we had to wait a really long time. So although she was chipper when we went in, it did not last.

Side note… Disney was a genius with Mickey Mouse. Signa has never seen any Mickey Mouse things, except her crawling Mickey doll thing that didn't even teach her to crawl and that she really doesn't pay much attention to. However, there were Mickey and Minnie pictures on the walls in the waiting room and Signa exclaimed profusely over them.

OH MY GOD IT'S MICKEY MOUSE ON THE WALL - I WANT IT - I WILL SMILE AT IT - I WILL MAKE GIMME HANDS AT IT - I WILL CRY AND WHINE AND THEN POUT FOR IT - PLEASE WON'T YOU TAKE IT DOWN AND GIVE IT TO ME!?!?!

How does she know that she's supposed to like Mickey? Baffling…

Anyway, she was happy for awhile in the waiting room, but you can only ask her to wave to Mickey, smile at Mickey, where's Mickey? so many times before Signa starts realizing that you are merely placating her and that she really should be running around exploring other rooms. And then she does the crash-and-burn when her body further realizes that she hasn't finished a complete recharge (aka nap).

And that's when the nurse poked her head through to the empty Well Waiting Room (as opposed to the full Sick Waiting Room) and said, "Signa?"

She cried over every tiny little thing done to her.

OH MY GOD! YOU AREN'T GOING TO WEIGH ME ON THAT TORTURE MACHINE ARE YOU?!?!?!

HOLY MOLY! THAT TINY PEN FLASHLIGHT THING THAT LOOKS INTO MY EYES AND EARS WILL SURELY SHOOT HOT ACID INTO MY OROFICES!!!!

PLEASE GET THAT MEASURING TAPE OFF MY HEAD! IT'S PRACTICALLY A … shiver… HAT!!!!!

I don't even want to tell you what she did when she was given four shots. Although I will say that the doctor left the room right after administering the fourth shot and on the outside of the door is a picture of Minnie Mouse. Signa, through her screaming tears from hell, said, "Dat!" and pointed at it.

The new doctor, Dr. Mary, is pretty cool. She didn't bat an eyelash about breastfeeding and she didn't tell us how to raise Signa. She just said she's perfectly healthy and strong and wonderful. Okay. She didn't say wonderful. And she only said, "Strong" because Signa kicked her. Hard. I think she mentioned something about strong lungs, too, but I couldn't hear her over the screaming.

So we've gone 15 months with this whole parenting thing. So far, so good. Only well-check appointments and 2 visits in the beginning where we hoped she had ear infections. Yes, HOPED. That would have at least explained the poor sleeping. But, alas, good ears, perfect health and a wonderful sleepless baby.

I *THOUGHT* I posted this last week, but it isn't there so I'll try again…

Thursday’s dinner [talking about Thanksgiving] was fabulous, but I have to admit that the whole day was tainted because I wasn’t in Oregon. It was a yummy turkey dinner, but it wasn’t Thanksgiving; Thanksgiving is for Oregon.

Anyway, Marc made the whole meal and everything was perfect and done at the right time. Mom and Todd and Austin and Scott were with us and Signa thoroughly enjoyed the company. After she got over the shy-ness. The dinner consisted of turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes twice baked (Mom made these), homemade cranberry sauce (I made this), Italian green beans, salad, and I'm likely forgetting things. We finished off with pumpkin, apple, and pecan pie. Yum.

Again, it was perfect and I'm so proud of Marc for cooking it all and for the very first time. It was a great day, but I was just sad that our Thanksgiving Oregon tradition was broken. Also, Skooter (the eldest kitty) had a giant cancerous looking open wound on her butt. A $300 trip to the vet on Friday relieved us that it was just an abscess. She is now sporting a fancy radar dish on her head and will be just fine.

The death of Choppers (our dog) in October was too horrid for me and so the Skooter thing on Thanksgiving was just too scary.

In other news, we did have Signa's picture taken with Santa. She’s been very clingy lately so we figured she’d cry, despite all the visits to the singing and dancing electric Walmart Santa. I thought it would make for a great picture- Signa is funny when she’s mad.

Well, she didn’t cry. And she didn’t care. She just sat there with a look on her face that said, "What? Why are you looking at me while I sit on this fat man’s lap, shaking a bell?" The picture is okay.

Until we showed it to Mom the next day and Marc noticed Santa’s big… package. You would think that Santa could afford bigger pants, for crying out loud, to cover up better. And he has shifty eyes, too. And child molester glasses. I’d take her back for another picture retake, except I’d have to explain to them in front of children that the area between Santa's legs is now the focus of the picture and I will never be able to look at that photo again without laughing. And not in a good way. Marc's going to fix it in PhotoShop.

I've put a link to it HERE. Just in case you don't believe me.

Now for today's entry. Molly called me last week and told me that Dad has kidney disease. I've been reading a lot on it and learned that lots of people do just fine for their whole lives on dialysis. But they have to go and do that 3 times a week and I worry that Dad will stop going. I mean I really, really worry about that. I guess I just have to trust that he will take care of himself for the sake of his family. It isn't a life-threatening disease unless you let it be. I hope he doesn't let it, because I need my dad. More than anything, I need my dad to be okay.