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April 05, 2007
Ear Nose Throat
I've so many stories to tell. I think I'll start with ear infections. A few weeks ago, I had a cold. While driving home on a Wednesday, I remarked to myself, "Gee, this cold hasn't been bad at all and it hasn't even done anything horrible to me. Just a regular ol' cold. I must be getting back to my healthy self." Idiot.
Within 10 minutes of walking in the door I couldn't hear out of my left ear and it was throbbing like a little man was in there beating on my ear drum with a big (and pokey) stick.
I went to the doctor that Thursday (3/15) and he gave me pain killers and an antibiotic. They did nothing. I called that next Tuesday (3/20) to say that I still couldn't hear. They said to wait 10 days. During this time, my right ear decided to join my left and became Super Underwater Ear, too. I went in on the 9th day and he said Lefty was still infected (duh), but that there wasn't anything wrong with Right Ear. Um, then why can't I hear? No answer.
I got another antibiotic and instructions to see a specialist if I wasn't better by the next Tuesday. Which I wasn't.
I got an appointment with an ENT for Friday, March 30 at 7:45am in Walnut Creek- roughly an hour and a half away in morning traffic. I got there on time and yet, lo and behold, Stupid Idiot Receptionist Moron said, "Oh. I must have had the calendar open wrong because I booked you for March 4." (remember, this is now March 30...). I chuckled and said, "Oh, I hate when that happens," thinking she was just going to squeeze me in somewhere. Boy, was I wrong.
"Yeah, you'll have to come back in a couple weeks when we have our next appointment available."
Huh? NO! I was tired and cranky and feeling like I was 50 feet underwater trying to hear. I started to cry and a nice man waiting for his appointment yelled at her to take care of me. She refused and then he said I could have his appointment and he'd take the one in 2 weeks because his was just a checkup. She said no, because I was new and needed a longer appointment (remember this part because it adds humor later on- really, it does.)
So I cried and waiting to see if anyone was going to bail on their 8am appointment. Sat there like a freaking baby crying. Anyway, a different receptionist came over and offered me a 10am cancellation which I took. They called me in at 10:35am- so almost 3 hours later. I sat in the doctor's office waiting until 10:55 when he finally came in.
Keep in mind that I was there BECAUSE I CANNOT HEAR. Who do they send in? Dr. Mumbly Joe. Could not understand ANYTHING he said. First, while I talked and told him all the things going on, he sat typing on his laptop computer. Now since I'd written it all down and I assume he had my chart and all, I would think that he wouldn't have that much to type. So I can only jump to the conclusion that he was Instant Messaging with his little Mumbly Ear Nose Throat doctor friends.
"Woman here with hurty ears. What r u doing?"
"Got a man with stuffy nose. C U L8R."
etc.
Finally he put his laptop down and looked in my right ear and mumbled. Looked in my left ear and mumbled and then mumbled a lot and handed me a prescription that I couldn't read. I said, "Excuse me?" and "What?" at least 100 times.
Total lapsed time? 3 minutes.
Too bad they didn't squeeze me in at 7 freaking 45 in the morning and get 3 extra minutes behind. Someday I'm going to be a bajillionaire and I'm going to give all the ENTs in the area lots of money except them. They will get coal in their stockings.
Tune in next time for the thrills of Marc's triglycerides, my girls' beach weekend, and I'm sure Easter, since God knows if I'll write before then.
And your Kid-isms for today:
* Good Morning- Now that she sleeps in her own bed, every morning when Signa wakes up we hear her screaming, "I NEED SOMEONE TO SAY GOOD MORNING TO ME!!!!" over and over and over.
* Cookies- There is a chocolate chip cookie commercial where some personified cookies are taken out of a car. One cookie's eyes fall into the backseat while it's being plucked out. While describing this, Signa said, "His eyes popped right out of his head! Not like "HEHHHH!" popped out, but they just fell out on the back of the car." "HEHHHH" was said just as Marc says it when he's describing something horrific where in cartoons they would draw the eyes popping out of their heads. So darned funny, but only if you've heard Marc do it, I think.
* Kia Sedona- Upon checking out a remote control car at ToysRUs: "Hey, that one looks just like the new Kia Sedona." How would Signa know something like that if it weren't for the glories of television.
* Philosophy- Upon discussing people who starve to death and learning that some dog do, too, Signa remarked with intelligence: "Daddy, it doesn't matter if eat my dinner, because I'm going to die someday anyway."
* Who, me?- Will constantly just treks down the hall as fast as he can on all fours. He will look over his shoulder roughly 500 times to see if we are watching. If we are, he stops. If we aren't (or he thinks we aren't), he keeps going.
* I got this for you- Will is learning to take directions. "That's not yours" and "Put that back" are a couple of the phrases that he hears 346 times a day. Last week, when he picked up a dinosaur that was Signa's, I said, "That's not yours" and he didn't listen. I got more and more stern and finally he looked up at me and grinned and then held it out to me. Like, "Oh, Momma, I got this for you. Don't you just love it?"
Posted by Debbie at April 5, 2007 03:39 PM